The hard part of being in a cult, is not the getting. It's the leaving.

I thought it might be helpful if I told you about the time I was in a cult.

Those of you who know me as being lucid and balanced may find this hard to believe. I know I was shocked. SHOCKED.

I had to go to my very sensible husband, a man who lives and breathes engineering, Corporate America and all things apple pie. And I had to say:

"Honey, I think I'm in a cult."

I said those exact words. And he said to me,

“How on Earth could this happen?"

(There were also some other words, all of which were disparaging my mental competence.)

Let me tell you how you join a cult: Very slowly. One day you are hanging out with friends, doing yoga, feeling accepted and loved. Everyone believes the same things and enjoys the same activities. And then you realize something feels off.

In my case, the awakening came like a bomb. A website was revealed, and the leader was shown to be less of a god and more of a human. By the way, I. have no animosity toward anyone from the good old days, including this man. I am only shocked that I was so taken in.

It is easy to get consumed by groupthink. Not just easy, but enjoyable. In a time when many of us feel isolated and alone, you suddenly have friends. You share the same opinions. I mean, who could believe otherwise? It’s so obvious, right? Duh!

These days, Facebook and Twitter support the immersion by showing you more and more of the things you "like." Television news is also often biased, so it appears that everyone is on the same page. You see what you want to see — perhaps you even see a wall where there is no wall.

And then you realize something feels off. This is called waking up.

It is very hard, excruciating even, to admit you were duped. 

Do not kid yourself. Leaving a cult, or a mindset, is extremely hard. It will feel like ex-communication from a church. It will feel like you lost all of your friends in a divorce. It will feel isolating, and lonely, and sickening.

In my case, some of my former friends made death threats. Those were good times.

I am seeing many of my dear friends going through something like this now. Once upon a time they were in the club. It felt good to belong. Dinner conversation was easy.

But now it seems like a lot of things don't feel right. The capitol was attacked, legislators were threatened and held in lockdown. People died. All 50 state capitols are now on alert. Social media is banning the President. Corporate America is pulling out of sponsoring any and all enablers. And a disease is running rampant through the country because wearing a mask became political instead of common sense.

The sad truth is that both men who led these groups had the opportunity to be great. My yoga teacher was truly gifted. The President could have been a game changer having brought back our economy from the abyss.

Instead, everything has gotten weird.

Leaving a mindset means admitting you were duped. Trust me when I say, that is the hardest part.

If it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone. Once you see, you can’t unsee how things are. You have two choices: you can dig in and defend, or you can say you were duped. In either case, you will have company, but perhaps only one path will give you peace.

Michelle Marchildon is The Yogi Muse. She is an award-winning journalist and the author of four books on yoga. She lives cult-free in Denver, Colorado.