Why Mothers Make Great Yoga Teachers. And why they don’t.

Can moms teach yoga?  Or is it only for the young, supple and single?  This is my musing on why moms make great teachers:The Yoga Mom

• Moms have eyes in the back of their head.  I know what my room is doing even when my back is turned.  I know who’s avoiding the pose, who is in child's pose, and who is rolling their eyes.  A mom is always watching you, and therefore you are seen.
• Moms have heard it all!  We know every excuse (the dog ate the homework, my arms are broken).  And guess what?  WE DON’T CARE!  We will still ask you to do the pose (unless it’s a really good excuse, like, I just had surgery).
• We speak directly, as if you are two years old, or worse, as if you are our husband.   For example:  A younger teacher will say, “With your next inhalation, will you please lift your leg, if it doesn’t inconvenience you.”  A mom will say, “Inhale.  Lift your leg." ('Do it now because I don’t have all day,' is implied).  Nobody can move a room more efficiently than a mom. 
• Moms are kind and loving.  Really.  We will support you on the mat because we understand what unlimited, unconditional love is.
• Moms have Band-Aids in their bag.  In fact, everything is in our bag -- just in case.
• Mothers are badass like Kali Ma.  Kali is the fierce Goddess but she is also the mother Goddess.  Think of a lioness protecting her cubs.  Kali has the power to create deep transformation, and she can even cleanse karma.  So who you gonna call?  Lakshmi?  Forgeddaboudit.

And some reasons why mothers don’t make great yoga teachers:

• Moms are exhausted all the time, and so they kind of have no clue where they are in the flow.  To cope with this don’t be afraid to ask your room, “Did we do the left side?”  But please, don’t ask another mother because she doesn’t have a clue either.
• Mothers in Menopause on the Mat – OMG!  Don’t get me started. What was I talking about again?
• Sometimes new moms forget they are talking to adults.  New mothers might tell the room to “move your tushies.”  WTF?  Are you going to wipe it for me too? 
• Lastly, sometimes moms forget that not everyone is a mom and so we theme on our kids, or talk about our kids, or brag about our kids and apparently this bores the shit out of everyone else.  But have I told you lately about how amazing my kids are?  I thought not.  Have you got a minute?

 Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse.  She’s the author of “Finding More on the Mat, How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga," available in January from Amazon.com.