Are You Aging Well or Just Hanging in There?

As I sit here with my broken hand, unable to type quickly, practice yoga, ride a bicycle or a horse, or do most of the things that bring me pleasure, I wonder about the meaning of life.

What could the Universe possibly have meant by bringing me this gift?

In “Fearless After Fifty,” Desiree Rumbaugh and I were optimistic about being strong, healthy and retaining that fighting spirit in the second half of life, but so far this decade has been a challenge. Quite possibly it is due to a pandemic that lingers like a summer cold that takes you into a sinus infection. Or simply put, the Sixties are more about hanging in there than thriving.

This year I’ve had three tough medical procedures none of which involved looking better afterwards. I keep saying that the next time I go under the knife I will come out 20 years younger, but truly I am doing what I can just to keep my original parts in working condition.

I wonder if this is what aging is really like? I wonder if the rah rah of the eff you fifties is ebbing into the I’m Still Here Sixties?

Longevity or Aging Well?

In the midst of my pity party (to which you all have a standing invitation), I’ve discovered the new word for aging is longevity. It’s an upgrade.

For one thing, longevity doesn’t include the word “aging,” so we can believe that we are staying in the game without reminding us that we’re getting older. For another, aging was usually paired with “gracefully” or “backwards,” and I think we all know that’s a load of bull.

Aging or longevity, call it what you will but both move us forward whether we like it or not. We are signed up for the long game and we better get prepared to play it.

Here are some ways to win.

Take care of your Body, Mind and Spirit.

I noticed most of us are geared to focus on one of the three: Body, Mind or Spirit. Taking care of the other two components feels unnatural. However, we must do the thing that feels difficult. If you enjoy taking care of the mind by reading or taking classes, then you must spend an equal amount of time feeding the spirit with nourishment and the body with physical health.

We are a three-legged stool; if one leg grows weak then we will crumble. Notice which way you lean, then go out of your way to do the things that you are less inclined to do.

Play the Long Game.

We are conditioned from birth to play the short game -- what can we win, what can we get, can we hit a pose. The opposite is about longevity: how can we stay in the game?

To play the Long Game, we might have to sit some things out. Recognizing that we may not be able to have it all or do it all, always, is part of growing up. I recognize that the trade-off is really a trade-up. I am willing to give up a pose, for example, if it gets me a day without pain.

Purpose is more important than happiness.

If you feel relevant, then you will still be in the game. If you feel useless, then you have dropped out. If you have left your job, or your work transitioned with the times, allow the shift to get you curious about what you have always wanted to do. Focus on purpose and less on happiness and you will discover you have both.

The Body is a Temple, and a Garage.

The body is our temple, but it’s also our garage, and there’s stuff stored in boxes we need to address and declutter.

The body holds onto all kinds of physical, emotional and spiritual trauma stored as pain or discomfort. What’s more, many of us are reacting from an enhanced sense of deprivation after the pandemic. Before we feed the loss with instant gratification we need to declutter ourselves.

Treat your body as a home for the divine and bring some consciousness around how you take care of yourself. Self-care is more than a bubble bath. It may look like therapy. Feel free to pack up whatever holds you back or brings you sorrow, and leave it at the curb for the trash pickup.

Recognize the changes.

As we age we can still do many of the things we used to, but I also want to point out that in a larger sense, denying that we are changing is not accepting reality.

I don’t want to say our abilities are age-related. However, we naturally will lose muscle mass, our bones are more delicate, and our ligaments grow softer (hello thumb injury).

If I have to give something up, let’s say inversions in the middle of the room, I try to see what I gain: peace of mind to practice in a way that supports my body. That’s “Long Game” thinking. Doing things just because other people are doing them, is “Short Game” thinking. You might win a round or two, but in the long run you could really mess things up.

Lastly, be picky about your friends.

After the pandemic I became much more choosy about who I spend time with. If your support group does not seem supportive, it’s the perfect time to make a delicate change.

Notice how you feel. You deserve better. Your body, mind and spirit deserve to feel good. Do not be afraid of change! It might be just the thing you need to thrive rather than survive the coming years.

Michelle Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is an award-winning writer based in Denver, Colorado and the author of four books on yoga.