Are You Tired of Being Angry?

It’s almost 2023 and I’m here to tell you: You’ve been played.

Anger is exhausting. It’s debilitating. But it also revs up the feels and makes you come alive with passion. After two years of the pandemic and what has been not-normal human interaction, it may feel like you want the highs. But this type of emotion is not real.

Real human connection involves – humans – not bots or internet celebrities getting you fired up.

What accounts for this sea of upended emotions and turmoil? Therapists have theories, and I’m not a therapist (even though lots of yoga teachers pretend to be one). But as a yogi who is able to step back and take a witness consciousness, I do have some thoughts.

First, there is a kind of pleasure at watching someone else’s house burn down, like schadenfreude. Think of the tiny joy in seeing the House of Windsor burn with the same horrible family drama that we all have.

Then there is a yearning for a time when we knew right from wrong and we were in agreement about something – anything.

These are confusing times. We are painfully aware that we could be shut down by a pandemic and lose our livelihood at any moment. The only place we might feel surefooted is in the one place that isn’t real: the internet.

There are people who understand this, who know that anger is a unifying emotion. That by roiling us up, it gives them lots of “likes” and increases their numbers. They post clips of Harry and Meghan and then ask us if the Royal family is racist. Maybe? Probably? Right now I am inundated with outraged posts about diet culture – however I haven’t had one post asking if I want to lose weight! The anger cart is well before the horse.

In case you don’t know, the people who roil us up are making money off our anger. When we post and comment and interact with their stuff, they make real money off our rage. They are enriched, and we are left exhausted with an excess of emotion that needs to be digested and dispersed. Someone is laughing at our expense, all the way to the bank.

The next time you feel triggered by a post, why not apply the Four Gates of Speech to our internet interaction? Ask yourself:

·      Is it true? (Possibly not?)

·      Is it necessary? (Will anything change because you’ve spewed your anger?)

·      Is it the right time? (Would your advice be better received after everyone is calm?)

·      Is it kind? (I already know the answer to that one.)

I know there are mixed emotions about January resolutions, but I will share one of mine. For the past few years I have been quietly working with anger. Like many of us, I have sometimes been unfairly judged and unfairly criticized on the internet. That isn’t as interesting as how I am learning to react, or should I say, not react.

I am practicing to listen first, to see what may be true, and then what I might ignore. This has also been quite helpful in the real world with real friends and family.

I’m not Saint Michelle. I still get irritated especially by the so-called yogis who should know better. They will not change. They are getting paid by playing you. But my friends, you can change. You have the power to not be part of a toxic game. You are not for sale, anymore.

Michelle Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is an award-winning writer and an E-500 RYT yogi based in Denver, Colorado. If you like this article, then buy one of her outstanding books on how to be a better human being and yogi, available wherever books are sold.