Let’s Talk about What Happened to Kindness Yoga

The Denver yoga community is in a state of shock as the city’s largest independent chain of nine yoga studios just closed its doors, permanently.

This is not a call for a moment of silence for local yoga in the wake of Covid-19. This is something very different. There are lessons here which we can all try to understand for the betterment of yoga and humankind.

Kindness Yoga was embroiled recently by accusations of racism and poor treatment of its BIPOC and LGBTQ teachers. These accusations had merit. They were met initially with a certain blind resistance, now known as white fragility and defensiveness, and then within 24 hours, the company closed.

I worked there for many years, and I feel this moment deeply. As a straight, white person, I know this is not about me, but I’m feeling it on behalf of my fellow teachers, yogis and empaths everywhere.

This may involve Denver, but it could happen to your local studio too.

What I know for sure

What I know for sure could fill a tiny doll’s shoe. However, I am trying to process this so that we don’t make the same mistakes, over and over again. At some point, we want to get it right. Let’s also be clear: A Denver institution was dismantled primarily by one voice then joined by many, a 20-something yogi, Davidia Turner, who felt she was not being heard. I hope her voice, and the voices of all marginalized people, are heard more clearly now.

The Lack of Diversity

The managers were all straight, white and under 50, while many of the teachers are BIPOC, LGBTQ and older. If you are the owner of a yoga studio today, I urge you to look at your board, your managers and your investors and get some diversity in there. The former Kindness managers are making #BlackLivesMatter Facebook posts and doing the talk of “I stand with you.” But what was missing for so many years was the walk.

According to the teachers, there were years of dismissive treatment. The wave of teachers’ social media postings reveal a history of anger and resentment. Some white teachers are posting they are sorry they remained silent. At some point, the studio managers and people in positions of empowerment really needed to listen, and speak up.

A Fuse Needs a Powder Keg

The accusation of racism and unfairness lit the fuse, but what burned the house down were years of mis-management. If it was just a one-time situation, or one person, dozens of teachers wouldn’t have resigned in support and protest. Students wouldn’t have revoked their memberships. Racism and prejudice exists whether you see it or not, and now it needs to be addressed by all of us.

Egos and more Egos

If you have a strong teacher, you want to try and work with them, not fire them. Jen Hicks was a star. Her classes regularly held more than 100 students. If you have a star, you need to swallow your pride and put away your ego if your own classes are not as popular. I hope managers everywhere read that. Do not fire your stars. See what they need to be even more successful, and then support them.

Be Present. Who knew?

If you own a yoga studio, you need to be a part of your studio and community. You can’t own it as an investment. You can’t be a hands-off owner. What I’m going to say is hard, because I am personally friends with the owners, Patrick and Cameron Harrington. But here’s the thing: you cannot leave your business for five years and retreat to Costa Rica and expect things to run smoothly. That’s just not how life works. Running a company is messy, and you need to be involved on a daily basis and not leave it to young, inexperienced managers. I’m sorry I had to say that, because I do care about both of you. But shit, five years is a long time to be on the beach.

The Un-Kindness in the Room

Kindness Yoga had a culture of feedback where every teacher was reviewed every 15 minutes. Okay, it wasn’t every 15 minutes, but it was every quarter or more. If you do this in your studio, be mindful. At Kindness you had white, straight, young managers walking into mature, LGBTQ and BIPOC teachers’ classes with a list of things they need to change. To what? Be more white, straight, young and thin? If you are going to have a pervasive, invasive and often offensive culture of feedback and criticism, then let it be by peers. Can I get an Amen?

Furthermore, if your name is “Kindness,” then you really need to be kind. This is simple stuff. So what I’m about to say is my own personal experience with two of the managers of Kindness, who were the unkindest, angriest, intoxicated-with-power, meanest-of-the-mean-girls I have ever encountered – and I’m a boring, old white woman! So I cannot imagine what it must have been like for a person of color or LGBTQ community, or even an employee of the studio. I literally, cannot even imagine what the treatment was like, and I’m so sorry this happened. I’m still waiting for an apology too.

We are all representatives of living a more enlightened life. Remember to act like that when you are off the mat too.

The Endless Man-Splaining

Man-splaining is when a man over-talks a woman and explains things to her that are obvious, and stupid, like how the world works, or high school economics. I’ve worked for the world’s largest corporations, and I had teenagers, and honestly I’ve never been man-splained so much as I was at Kindness. As our yoga studios move forward with racial sensitivity training, please include how to speak to women with respect since the majority of your teachers fall into this category.

Be Responsive and Grown Up

It’s been pointed out that this studio was a large, multi-location conglomerate that managed hundreds of employees and yet, did not have a Human Resources department. It had no formal way of handling complaints except for what’s been described as an eye-roll from the G.M. or the resident man-splainer. Come on. This is not legit.

To Donate or Not to Donate

There was a history of donation and cheap Groupon classes at this yoga studio. But first, I need to make a clarification: when I taught at Kindness, I thought we weren’t paid on the donation students. But I might have remembered it wrong. The latest policy was to pay on the donation students and share headcount revenue only on the Groupon type students. This actually explains to me why the resident man-splainer was so angry at Groupon and ClassPass — it was coming partly out of his pocket! My feeling is teachers and the studio both benefit from increased studentship (not to mention the world at large). So if a studio asks a teacher to share in the cost, I think that’s a reasonable request. But I could be wrong. I am learning that I’m wrong quite a bit these days.

It’s fine and noble if a studio wants to offer donation classes, Groupon, ClassPass and other discounts. But if you can’t afford to pay your teachers, you need to rethink the business model. I know donations and discounts make us look really groovy, but business is business. Ask your man-splaining economics major to explain that.

One Last Word About Social Media

I’m going to say one last thing about this whole business being aired out on the internet, Instagram and Facebook. Lots of my contemporaries have said to me this should have been handled privately. Well, the teachers tried. Nobody listened. Managers rolled their eyes, some were really effing mean, and then they man-splained everything away. I have learned this lesson the hard way too: always act as if everybody is watching, because these days everyone is.

Sadly, it's too late for Kindness to learn these lessons, but it’s not too late for the rest of us. Please for love of yoga, shut up and listen to your teachers, your students and the voices of those who are not often heard.

 To find Davidia and support her cause, go to her website here.

Michelle Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s an award-winning journalist and a yoga writer based in Denver, Colorado.