And maybe you do them too?

Once I took a teacher training where the assignment was to record yourself and then play it back and take your own class.

Oh good Lord. It was awful. To this day I cannot, will not, must not listen to myself teach – or listen to myself at all. All I hear are things I wish I could have done differently.

These days Zoom is providing this discomfort over and over again. It’s Groundhog Day for yoga teachers.

And yet, through our discomfort, there is the opportunity to learn something if we pay attention. This is what I’m hearing, over and over again. Ouch.

1. Assuming

The saying goes that when we assume, we make an ass of u and me. I’ve heard teachers (myself included) assume we are all running a lot, sitting a lot, or eating a lot during the Pandemic. I wouldn’t run if a bear was chasing me. I think we make assumptions to try and forge a connection over the internet because we can’t see our students or know how instruction is landing. It’s just a hunch. I’ll try to stop.

2. Talking in Jargon

There is no such thing as a sidebody, so why do we all say it? Believe me, it’s not taught in medical school. It’s best to use clear and simple language, especially when we can’t always show what we mean. This also applies to spiraling things and anything to do with the wasteland of the inner thighs.

3. Using the Same Cues

Sometimes we say the same cues over and over again, and then when our students don’t understand we say it louder. These days I am trying to vary the cues on Zoom. I particularly enjoy squeezing the dollar bill, opening the pickle jar and saying the hip wants to snog the opposite heel. Life is big and beautiful and should be filled with many ways for the mind to say “I love you” to the body.

4. Thinking Our Way is the Right Way.

This one is hard because we are told to teach from our experience, but what if our experience is not universal? For example, I am very short and so many options that I offer with props simply don’t work for taller (or even normal-sized) people. The joy of Zoom is that students tell me (over and over again) if something doesn’t work, and I get instant education. Yay!

Another example, some people can do the “Chinese” or Middle Splits, and some people will never have them (or even try them) due to how the femur sits in the joint. Some people can move from High Lunge pose to Warrior Two by pressing down on the big toe mound, and some people with arthritis absolutely should not.

This gets even trickier when it comes to the tailbone. If you enjoy an extreme curve in your low back, you might expect others can do this too. You might even create an entire yoga school around this one simple concept – and someone has.

However, this intense experience is not right for all bodies. I discovered this the hard way, so now I use my short-person props, shorten my belly, lengthen my sidebody and spiral the thighs when I move the tail to my head. Ha ha. Just kidding. I don’t do any of that.

Michelle Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She is the author of four books on yoga and an E-500 teacher in Denver, Co. You can find her at www.TheYogiMuse.com

The Stupid Things I do When I Teach